The Secret He Keeps
by TheAwesomeMoustache
Summary: What if there was more behind the Yamimash that everyone knows? What if Mark is the one to find out? Can Yami break through his inner demons, or will he fall beyond Mark's grip? *Everyone is OOC, AU, and there is swearing. Mostly centered around a dark theme for awareness.* You have been warned, there is 'Markimash'.
1. Average Day

_Hello Moustachians! This is a really, really old story I made a year ago, so now I decided to upload it. I completely forgot about it until I was cleaning all my junk files today! I'm thinking about adding and editing a whole lot, but I also decided to put it up as a story to see what ya'll think. Continue? No? I know I might get some flames, but Freedom of Speech, right? Constructive criticism is welcome! And it's AU, since it was a hassle to always compare time differences. Hope you enjoy!_

_**Third Person: Mark**_

Somewhere in Ohio, somewhere near Cinncinati, there was an apartment complex. The neighbors were used to the frequent shouts coming out of it, even when the owner supposedly made it soundproof. On an average day, the owner would play games and upload them to Youtube. This was the average day in the life of Mark. Or better known in Youtube, 'Markiplier'. He just got done doing a collab with his loyal friend and buddy, Yamimash, and prepared it for upload. 'Yamimash' was still laughing.

''Ma'k, man, I had a lot of fun! That was a great mod!'' Aaron, or better known in Youtube as 'Yamimash', exclaimed. For a Garry's Mod, it truly was a scary thrill. Kind've a 'Jeff-The-Killer meets Slenderman in a massacre' kind of theme. It took a good twenty minutes, and it was definitely an _awesome_ waste of time.

''Jeez, it's not fair I got most of the jumpscares! Totes McScrotes Not fair!'' Going on a rampage, Mark was smiling and yelling all through it. Aaron just leaned back on the screen, laughing along behind one hand.

''You deserved it! I didn't want to get blown up that time, but _NOOOO_. Go into the room, you said. Get into the water, you said. Die a terrible death, you said!''Aaron reminded.

''Umm...I said everything...except the last one...''

''Whatever man...Hey, guess what?''

''What?'' Mark asked, looking at the screen intently.

''I'm gonna get some tonight! 'M taking Jess out on a date, in a fancy restaurant. Do ya think she'll like it?''

Mark's eyebrows furrowed, for just a minute. But in the next second, a too-big smile graced his face as he replied, ''Yeah, I think so. Trust in Markiplier, he's never wrong! Good luck.''

''Great. Thanks for the good time, Ma'k.''

And with that, Aaron signed off. Mark pushed back on his desk to stand up from the old, black rolling-chair. All that needed to happen was that later he could upload the video they recorded, but he didn't really have to do it now. He sighed, and took off his headphones. He had a good laugh, but now, for some reason, he couldn't shake off the underlying feeling of uneasiness. _Date night? What do date nights feature? A dinner? A movie, maybe dancing or something? Hmm...Wait. What am I doing thinking about what they're gonna do? It's not like I care or anything..._

Sighing, he felt sad, and a tinge of regret. Maybe he could have made Aaron a bit late, or made him forget all about the 'date'. If only...Well, that couldn't be helped.

For Aaron, it was date time. Maybe he'll really get lucky...

_Stop thinking about that. Why do you care, anyways? You shouldn't care at all. It really doesn't matter..._

But no matter what Mark did, all he could think about was how lucky Aaron's girlfriend, Jess, was. To get special mentions, or recieve that British man's attention. But hey, what can you do? Aaron was British with a quick wit and brilliant personality, while Mark was...Mark. Mark was all loud, obnoxious, and at times impulsive, where Aaron was a little quieter, more thoughtful, and quick to use his smarts. Yami was from England, while Mark came from 'just plain' Ohio. **(No offense, peeps from Ohio. It's a cool place, I've been there before.)**

Sigh...*_ring ring* *ring ring*_

''Hellooo? Mark here, what's up?'' Mark breathed into the phone, not even bothering with a smile if there was no one there to see it.

''Hey Dude! It's Wade, and I wanna know when the next Minecraft episode is, so I can clear my schedule for it, because...''

''I get all drunk and we get all stupid?'' Mark laughed, referencing to all of those Minecraft adventures he had while being in the shallow waters of intoxication.

''Uhhh...Yeah.''

''Well, I got nothing planned yet.''

''Shame. Bob is free for Tuesday, and so am I. Maybe then?''

''I...can't do Tuesday,''Mark sighed in the phone. A complete lie, of course.

''Well...He's also having a party! Maybe you should come?'' Wade asked. Concern was laced delicately through his words, almost imperceptible to friends who didn't know him, yet completely apparent to Mark.

''Nah, I think I'll sleep early today...''

''Mark, that's like the three thousandth time you said that, to ANYTHING we invite you to. What, are you depressed? Do you need help? Or do we need to come over...''

''No! I just...I just...Look, I don't really feel 'upbeat' today. I'll...call you later...Bye.''

Before giving Wade a chance to reply, he hung up. He didn't really want to lie to Wade, but he also really didn't feel like doing much. Mark knew he would hear of this later, and it wouldn't be pretty. Wade might even mention it to Bob, and then they'll have a full-blown conversation and stage one of their unique 'interventions'. But for now...For now, he could relax, have a sandwhich maybe, and take some sleeping pills to fall asleep. Insomnia be damned. Sleep sleep sleep...An escape from the world.


	2. Ruined Night

_**Third Person: Yamimash**_

While Mark was slowly struggling with his evil insomnia, Yamimash was seriously pondering how to make the night go _any_ quicker. He had reserved a table just for this date, had made all the plans, and even got to see Jess all dressed up. So how come he couldn't seem to just focus?

''So, like, I totally liked to do your make-up! It was just so funny to do the video! Do you think we could do it again? And this time I'll be able to pick out your entire outfit, use more make-up, and-''

''Uhh, okay...''Aaron said, trying to pull himself back in the conversation. He looked up from his gentle glare at the light brown table to meet Jess' narrowed, suspicious eyes. Suddenly it was starting to get a uncomfortably warm, and it wasn't just from the soft candle in between them.

''Aaron, are you even listening to me? I can't believe you, on our date night too!'' She said, her red manicured nails clicking against her expensive wine glass. Aaron knew he threw himself to the sharks, but unlike an actual shark attack, there was nothing to provide release.

Clearly, the situation was already deteriorating rapidly. Jess waited, her sharp brows arched expressively to form an angry expression. Aaron, at a loss, was trying desperately to remember the previous conversation, and struggled to make things better with his girlfriend.

''I was just distracted... You know-''

''So you get bored spending time with me!? _Oh, it's not me, it's the fans, and the Youtube videos, and this, and that. _That's all I ever hear from you anymore! Don't you remember you actually have a life and a _girlfriend _outside the computer?''

Yami stumbled over his words, his mouth silently moving to say _I'm sorry, _but no sound passed though. The more seconds that passed, the more impatient his girlfriend became. People were starting to glance their way, as if it were truly their business. _Can Jess possibly be any louder? _However, it seemed as though she was tired of waiting. Her hands met the table, and the chair screeched across the beautiful wooden floor. It almost tipped back from the sheer force.

''That's it, I'm going to call up my friends, and hang out with THEM! Maybe they'll like spending time with me a hell of a LOT more than you do!''She angrily sashayed away in her short, promiscuous black dress, clearly fuming. The click clack of her heels just made it worse. Everyone in the restaurant turned their heads and gave Aaron a questioning glare. Poor Yami looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Apparently, you never _dare _upset a hot blonde girl, right? Looks like Aaron just broke that rule. Acknowledging that his night was now completely ruined, he stood up too.

''Sir, you didn't even order anything yet. Will your...umm...lady-friend be back?''A waiter hopefully asked.

''No...no, she won't be back. Can I just pay for the drinks then?''

''Uhh...sure, Sir.''

Aaron looked around, feeling his pockets and patting the table. She snatched the keys off the table when he wasn't looking! She must've planned this...all along. He paid for the drinks, waved adieu, and left the 'Blue Moon' restaurant. Sighing, he walked outside, into the absolutely _pouring _rain.

_She just had to order the most expensive wine in the restaurant, didn't she? Oh well...I mean, I wasn't worth her time anyways...Worth nobody's time..._

_Then that means she also planned on you not paying attention, didn't she?_

True. It was the complete and utter truth. Now, she was leaving him no choice but to walk home, in the unforgiving rain. Luckily, his house wasn't too far, just two blocks away. Yami decided to just walk to his house, instead of calling a friend or something. It wouldn't be a big deal. He couldn't get anymore soaked anyways...

Aaron then began his journey. At first, he was okay with it. Sure, it was a little cold... But then it got worse...It seemed to get colder and colder. Some rain even made it's way into his mouth, making him choke a little. But Yami seemed to not even notice, being lost in his own thoughts. Finally, he reached the driveway, Jess' own hot pink car parked neatly. Fumbling around his pocket for a keys, he only internally hated himself when he only felt an empty pocket. _Looks like the old one under the mat will have to do. _The door was unlocked in no time.

Bursting through, he felt himself almost slip on his own soaked shoes, squeaking against the linoleum flooring. The sound was loud against the quiet of the house, only joined by the pounding rain. Aaron felt the wall to scramble his way through the darkness. He had to find his cure, now. It has to be now.

_The bathroom... One more foot...Turn the knob...Open the drawer..._

Suddenly Yami felt his 'facade' fall apart. He crumbled in a heap on the hard, unforgiving tile floor. His date was ruined, he may or may not have a girlfriend tomorrow...He would lose Jess. Granted, she was _a complete bitch, _but that was only when he deserved it. She was his sunshine with her blonde hair, and white smile, even if her personality didn't quite match it.

Aaron searched the very back of the drawer, for a hidden compartment. He found it.

_**Mark's P.O.V**_

I woke up to sunshine streaming through my bedroom windows. Just like always, my mind waited a second to catch up to what happened the night before. It's sort of a reflex you develop if you have friends like Wade and Bob. Strangely enough, my energy was noticeably low. I can't be the awesome Markiplier if I don't have enough energy! Only an equally awesome game with Yami could fix this, I know it can. I just gotta wait until eleven o'clock, that way I won't rudely disrupt his sleep. Maybe we could just play a quick game, and not record it? We could have genuine, non-documented fun. Maybe.

Since it was a Saturday, I was feeling pretty lazy. Either that, or I truly did not feel the motivation to rise and shine. Getting up was like a chore, since I kept on yawning. I didn't even bother making my bed like usual. It just didn't feel right. It's a Saturday, I'll have plenty of time to clean and do things, just later.

Wow, It's ten already! I would call this sleeping in, but this is nowhere near Yami's record of 'sleeping in' till one o'clock in the afternoon. Hmm, I wonder what Aaron is doing...Probably waking up next to Jess by now... Again, it's not like I care.

I just walked to the mini kitchen to whip myself up some cereal. Yeah, that'll do the trick. Mmm, Fruit Loops! Yummy! It just crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe, I should work on some of my daily videos. After all, you don't get this awesome at Youtube by just sitting around! And I also really do need to freshen up a bit. Maybe a shower, a change of clothes, and make the video for the day and upload it to Youtube. Perfect! Good plan. I could even stick on a Warfstache! _**(A.N: I just had to add that... XD! )**_

My apartment isn't really big...But it's not that small, either. I live on the second floor, lucky me, (not really, because it's boring), and it seems okay. When Wade and Bob used to come here, it was cozy...But now it's been empty, void of anyone besides myself. I walked to the little bathroom, and turned on the shower. Not too cold, but a little warmer than necessary... I wonder...What is Yamimash doing right now? Right this second? Does he think about me at all?

_Stupid, _I thought. How can he think about you when he's in the arms of another? Surely he must be lying next to Jess, lounging and commenting about the 'great night', like in those cheesy, crappy romance movies. Then he would shower her with compliments like only a true British Gentleman would. And finally, he would cook her a nice breakfast in bed, no matter _how much she didn't deserve it, and-_

_You're going on a strange path, Markiplier, _My mind fairly warned. And in that minute I knew that he would really do all of those things that I guessed, because I know him more than Jess ever will. He's my pal, and I'm supposed to know him like the back of my hand.

_Oh well. Fruit Loops, anyone?_


	3. The Note

***Warning* Language. Reader Beware...jk :) And just so you know, Jess might be a little bit of a bitch in this chapter, sorry. I also realize that I have to put a -ahem- _disclaimer here, _so, just so ya know, everything that I write about them is entirely fictional and are just the imaginings of my twisted mind that found themselves on my computer. Reviews are also awesome, they tend to keep me going :)**

_**Third-Person: Yamimash**_

_Oh...W-what...happened?_

_No. Date. Jess. Car. Rain. Home. Bathroom... I remember now...Oh shit! Is...Is Jess home yet? What if she saw me...This?! Then..._

Aaron started to get up, than just sat back down. He felt a sharp pain in his right arm..._Oww, must've cut deeper than I thought...The blood, the razor, and I think it's late. Jess HAD to have come to the house._

He looked around, taking in his surroundings. The beige and dull bathroom was nothing to note, but something new was in the sink. _Damn...It's a first aid kit, with a note. _This ought to be fun.

_Dear Aaron,_

_I can't believe you would do THIS to yourself...I mean, I thought you were better than that! But nevermind, I have to talk about US. There is no 'us' anymore, so I think it's over. Like, over. I thought I really loved you. When you let me put on your make-up, when you first told me you loved me, when you asked me to be your gf...Yeah, you were interesting. Then. Now, you are just...A pathetic loser, who pays more attention to 'adoring fans' than his own gf! I really don't care for you anymore, you're no fun. Once I figured it all out, I just used you to get David, my co-worker, jealous. It worked. I didn't take most of my stuff, so I might come back to get some things. Just don't cry about it, okay? -Jess._

Shit. _This can't, in no way, be happening. Especially now of all times. And who the hell is David? __No,no,no,no,no...I...I'll dress this wound, and then I'll see for myself if it's all real. I know...She didn't mean it...I'll just throw the note away..._

After the note was crumpled up and thrown in the empty and only decorative trashcan, Yami dug around in the kit until he found some bandages. Washing the dried blood off, he wrapped till it was tight enough that it was questionable whether or not it was cutting off his circulation.

He had full memory of the cuts he made...maybe four are new additions. All the scars danced on his arm, some old, some recent, and four new angry red lines. He took to wearing long-sleeved shirts lately, but he could be too cold, maybe he just likes them...There were many reasons why nobody suspected a thing.

_Finally...maybe it's all a dream..._

Aaron tried to ignore the ball of paper in the trash can.

*_bzzzz bzzzz* *bzzzz bzzzz*_

_Crap! Mark is calling! Umm, act natural, play a game, and forget all about your...predicament._

The phone kept ringing the awful repetitive ringtone, and he scrambled to get it. His hand pressed a button and Mark's voice flooded the empty air, into his ears.

''Hey, how ya' doing? I just felt like doing a co-op like we used to! If it's too early, it's okay. Or I could just come over and we can hang out or something, unless you're too busy, like alway-''

''No, it's fine, just delay a little bit so I could tidy up, pal...''Aaron said, trying to sound as normal as possible. It doesn't help that he was fully aware of that fact that his voice might crack as bad as it did when he was twelve.

''Really? Are you serious?! I'll come over in about thirty minutes then, is that okay?''

''Yeah... Bye Ma'k,''He breathed. It took all of his willpower to not panic. At least not on the phone, with Mark. That would be a no-no.

''Bye Yami.'' *click*

Oh no, what now? It wasn't the first time Mark had come over, but it was the first time in a..._long_ while. A really long while.

_Before it all happened_.

Sighing, Aaron put his phone back in his pocket. He needed to clean up. _Maybe hide the...errm, mess, throw my clothes in the washer, take a shower, and double check if, unfortunately, Jess actually meant what she said... Nevermind. Just finish the schedule, Yami._

Yami sighed, and knew that if everything went to hell, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

_**Mark's P.O.V**_

Yeah! Who knows how long it's been since I've been to Yamimash's place! But ever since Jess came there, I guess there was no reason for me to be there anymore. But at least he agreed this time. That's good news, right?

Now _I _have to tidy up myself. What should I wear? My signature Markiplier shirt, or a white polo, button-up shirt..._Wait, what am I thinking? Why should I care this much? _Uhh, maybe I should just settle for a casual essemble. A blue button-up shirt, with one of my comfortable jeans. A plan. Unlike rushing into things like I do in games, I actually take the time to plan things out, at least sometimes. Sometimes.

I wonder what Yamimash has been up to all this time. How long has it been since we met, face to face? Maybe close to a year? I'm almost ashamed to admit that, but I do believe that was about the time when Yami met his girlfriend, I think. Kudos to them. Well, I should probably change out of the clothes I threw on this morning, and change into that outfit I was talking about.

Walking to my room, I'm ecstatic. I actually feel pumped! Awesome. My apartment room isn't that big, it's actually where all the magic happens. Being 'Markiplier', I always have to be pumped. Let's see...Blue button-up shirt...Jeans...Epicness...Check,Check, _Check._ About twenty minutes left, maybe I can watch TV. But it's Saturday, a day for sports channels, movies with bimbos in them , and news. Oh well. Yamimash didn't really have to tidy up for me, unless he has a huge mess in his house.

I remember when we were the closest of friends...I still know his favorite color, what kind of food he likes, what he liked/disliked...But for some strange reason, I can't remember what type of tea he likes to drink! I guess the only reason I have for calling him my best friend now is because of the co-ops we would do for the fans in Youtube. But now, we don't even talk much anymore. Wade and Bob are probably the closest thing to a real social life I have.

- Flashback -

''_Ma'k, do you have some time? I want to make some of me' tea, but I don't want to miss the game we're playing, so I want to pause it. Do you mind?'' Aaron asked. He looked at me, his brown eyes questioning my own. I smile._

_''Nah, I needed a break anyways. I get enough of staring at screens nonstop,''I replied. He smirked, and let his brown hair fall into his eyes. I followed him when he went to the kitchen to make his 'special tea'. I know I remembered exactly what it was back then, but now I can't recall. Back then we were close friends. Friends... Anyways, it was all good._

_After we were done discussing over the table, him sipping his tea, and me talking my head off. I think I was talking about what I planned to do in the future. I don't know if I still have those plans now..._

_I was rolling with laughter when Yami spilled his drink all over himself. It was hilarious! He was shouting curse words everywhere, I remember. It was hot tea, so I guess it was torture. Serves him right for drinking tea in the middle of our awesome game._

_''Stop laughing!''_

_''Nah, I don't think so,'' I smiled. I was now chuckling to myself, a wide grin on my face. Aaron was still fuming, and he stood up to change out of his ruined white polo shirt. Haha. I waited patiently._

_''I hope you're happy, Mark,''He smirked._

_''Yep. It was really hilarious. You should've seen your face.''_

_He was now dressed in his Yamimash T-shirt. The Youtube sign but with Yamimash in it. I have one of those shirts, but I would never tell him that..._

_''Mark? Hey, what are you looking at? Earth to Mark?''Aaron said, waving an arm over my face._

_''Yeah, umm, yeah, what's up?''I said. I was snapped out of my train of thought that was going to crash and burn anyways._

_''Let's continue the game again, now that my tea just so happened to be a douche.''_

_''Okay.'' _

_That was an epic day, and he even let me spend the night. Popcorn, The Grudge, and doggie pajamas were all included. _

- End -

That's probably the last time I was over at his house. It was nice. But then Jess came along, and that was also when he got a ton of new subscribers, so that REALLY made his schedule a lot more busier. No time to hang out, except with his own girlfriend. No time for 'Markiplier'-me. I still remember that moment, even if I don't remember anything else.

Hey! I should head over to Yami's now. It's about time. He better be ready...


	4. Chasing The Monsters Away

_**First Person: Yamimash**_

Mark'll be here any minute! Wow, I'm really nervous. Umm, I'm sure everything's cleaned up, but I'm not sure I am. I need to smile like I mean it..But it's hard. Maybe when Mark gets here it'll all change. And I could tell him about Jess...But I really do hope she'll come back. I...love her...

*ding, dong*

He's here. I hope everything's ready. He really hasn't been over in a long while, and I guess that's mostly my fault. It's not like I was really too busy for him, it's just that I didn't want to face him after...it all happened. After it all changed.

''Hey Mark, what's on the agenda? I have Minecraft, or we could just talk, hang out in the town, find some games-'' I scrambled for something fun to say, something that would make it all more hospitable. I hope he realizes it's my way of saying _I'm sorry._

''I would love to talk, so we could catch up. What's been going on with you? It's been a while. And hey, where's Jess?'' He asked innocently. I'm sure he meant nothing about it, but I felt a hot flash of nervousness go down my spine.

''She's...off doing her own personal errands...''

''Ohh...okay. So, how are you? You look...a little sad. What's wrong buddy?''

''Nothing, nothing,'' I respond. Suddenly, I felt very, very self-conscious about my long sleeves. This'll be a long while... I can even feel his eyes rake over me. I know he knows somethings wrong. And I don't like it.

''O...kay. So, I see how fast your subscriber count is growing. Aren't you excited?''

''Yeah, I really am. The fans are awesome, and so is Youtube. I'm doing what I like, you know man? It's been a wild ride. I also hear you're doing well too. How do _you _feel?'' Finally, the focus has been shifted from me to him.

''Oh yeah, it's been great! I've been doing fine, and it's been all good...A lot has happened and-'' He rambled on.

He kept on talking, all about what happened in the time that we haven't really talked. I let him tell me everything. Every so often I looked down at my dark blue sleeves, and hoped he didn't notice. I tried to listen patiently, but I felt like I was going to explode at any minute.

_**First-Person: Mark**_

He hardly didn't look at me throughout our whole conversation. Did he really _not_ want me there? I mean, I really wanted to see him, but it seems he didn't really want to see me... Hey, When is Jess gonna get here? She's sure taking a long time.

''Hey Aaron...'' I started. He looked up from his long sleeves, startled.

''Hmm?''

''When is Jess gonna get here? It's been a while.''

''Uhh...She shouldn't be long...''He said.

His already small smile faded into a frown. I must have touched a nerve, but what did I say? Now I know something is wrong. And I think he knows I know something's wrong. Why can't he just tell me? We used to be best friends...And I wonder why he's wearing a long sleeved shirt. It was actually unusually hot when I got here, but maybe he didn't notice.

''Really? Well, I just want to know, because I don't want to be a third wheel. She is your girlfriend after all. You must love her, don't you?'' I innocently asked.

He suddenly turned tomato red in the face and abruptly sat up, startling even me. What was wrong with him?! He suddenly and silently stood, turning his back to me. I also stood up with him, and I saw his hands fly to his face. _Was he crying?_

''Yami, What's wrong? I'm sorry for whatever I said or did! Really!'' The words tumbled through my lips. I was starting to panic. What the hell did I even say?! His feet were still seemingly planted to the floor, and he showed no indication of even turning around to me.

''Why...'' He whispered in a hushed voice. I was automatically surprised. What? ''Why what?''

''Why do you think that everything's great? _Yeah Ma'k, everything is fuckin' perfect, everything is fine. _You don't understand...You'll never understand..._You don't-''_

I cut him off with one swift motion. The noises stopped abruptly. He gasped, surprised. I had my hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at me. He won't get away from me this time.

''Yami, tell me _what's wrong,_'' I said, ''What could possibly make you be like this?''

''Everything. Everything made me like this. _Even you. _But I loved her Mark...You don't understand that I loved her...But she left me...She was the last thing I could possibly rely on, the last thing for me to hold onto, the only constant in my life, just because of a stupid mistake...I try to be normal, and I can-_at times-_trick myself for a while that I'm alright, that I'm fine...But Mark, I need you...''

And he choked out another sob into my shoulder. His voice cracked, making his British accent more prominent. I could feel my heart breaking...But I don't know why. I shouldn't care _this _much, to the point where I just want to-

No. Not now. Now, I will make him tell me what really happened. I will get him through this.

_**First-Person: Mark**_

''So that's what happened...Why didn't you tell me in the first place, Aaron?'' I asked. So it turns out that his date went horribly wrong when he couldn't focus. And then he stumbled and crashed in the bathroom, where Jess found him and only left a damn note. I guess that's it then. But why didn't he tell me sooner? I thought he knew that no matter what, he could always come to me.

''I was afraid of what you would do. After all, I am getting this upset over a girl that I _knew_ would inevitably leave me. But I still gave her everything I had, my all, hoping that she would be reliable, at least for me. But now...'' He faded off. Oh Yami...I'll help you.

''So where's the note?'' I asked. His eyes darted away from me, to the side, seemingly a little shocked at my inquiry.

''I...threw it away in the bathroom. But I don't want to look at it. Not anymore.''

''Are you okay now Yami? How are you coping?''

He still didn't look at me. Should I be worried? I don't think so...

''I've been fine,''He mumbled.

I then stood up. _I know that was a complete, and utter lie. _I just felt _so frustrated_ now. Here I am, hearing him out and trying to listen and be patient, but how is that possible? I _know _that's not all. What did I do to make him not trust me? _He is so obviously not fucking fine._

''Bullshit!''I yelled, slamming my fist on the table. I know I shouldn't do this, that I was scaring him, _and frankly myself also, _but I couldn't stop. Aaron jumped. ''Why are you fucking lying to me? I try to help you, to talk to you, and _finally _I get my chance, in a long while, and the first thing you do is lie to me?!''

''I know, but I can't tell you yet...''

It was a true struggle to control my frustration. I unfortunately _always_ had a bad temper, courtesy of those rage-inducing games, and I was guilty of losing my cool easily. But I can't, not now. But I know that I can't possibly give up on him, not like Jess did. Aaron looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes of his, making my legs turn to jelly. I could feel the space between us close...I touched his arm...

''No...''He whimpered. His arms pushed against my shoulders, and I was completely and utterly shocked, and slightly hurt. I'm sure that my feelings shown on my face, because he tentatively put one hand near my neck. We stayed like this, for a while, until his small broken voice broke the thick silence.

''I...I'm not ready. Jess...might come back...'' He croaked. I nodded. The same thought went through my head.

''It's alright. I just want you to know...I'll never leave, I'll be here for you, just ask,''

''Ma'k,'' Yami began. But I was not letting him interrupt me.

''And I'll be there, anytime and anywhere, no matter what, and-''

''Ma'k!''

''_I'll chase all the monsters away.'' _I finished, taking a big breath. It seemed as if Yami was just shock still, motionless. His chocolate eyes looked up at me, since I was only a few inches taller. I just wanted to let him know how I felt. Finally, he was the first to break the returning silence.

''I-I know Mark... I'm n-not saying I'm going to push you aside, I just...It's complicated, but I still partially love Jess, she was someone that I gave everything to.''

I fucking knew it. I guess I couldn't just expect him to get up and move on right away, right? Then again, if Yami was anything, he was most definitely loyal. It was a good quality about him, one of the traits that I loved about Aaron. I never thought I would ever resent it, even if only a little. He looked at me, staring into me with those eyes. I could tell he was silently pleading for me to completely understand, to comfort him, and not give up on him. He sure didn't need to tell me twice, I'm not Jess. God, I don't like her. She changed the Yami I knew, and twisted him to be her mini man-servant, always demanding, never giving.

''It's okay, I kind of expected that. No harm done,'' I simply said. I tried my hardest to muster a genuine smile, but even I could tell it was empty. I racked my brain, looking for something to break that god-awful silence...

''Hey! We should eat something. It's almost one o'clock. We could go to a cafe, or if you have some supplies, we could make some super-duper sandwhichs!'' I said. The tension was slowly but surely defusing, being aired out like the air from a popped balloon.

''Yeah, let's make some epic 'wiches.'' He said, making a weak laugh. I smiled encouragingly, and then made a face at his choice of words.

''Umm...''

''Just kidding Mark.''

''Yeah, I knew that,''I chuckled. He started laughing. Yeah, this'll turn out great in the end.

_**A.N:**_

_Hello Moustachians! I do hope you all have enjoyed dropping my story a view! How about 'accidentally' dropping a review, too? XD _


	5. Too Close

_**First-Person: Yamimash**_

Phew, that was close. Way too close. Closer then it should've been. Way too much. I truly did enjoy his company, but like all social situations I'm put through, I was freaking out the whole time. It was so stressful...But now he knows. And I know he will start trying to dig deeper, but I can't, and _won't, _let him. He can't find what I tried so hard to bury. My world would crumble apart, fall right in front of my eyes. My scars...I can't bury them, can't rub them away. They'll stay there, probably forever. Those ugly, horrifying scars. Parallel and unmistakable to the eye. Impossible to lie about. How would I even be able to live with them? To coexist with a dark secret?

I can't think about that now. I need to control myself. It's two o'clock, according to the round clock on my brown bedroom wall.

After Mark revealed his brilliant idea, we proceeded to have lunch, containing the ultimate mayonnaise sandwiches. Then we took a cruise around the town of Cincinnati. All we really did was walk, walk, and walk around in comfortable silence. Once in a while, we would mess around with the trimmed trees. But near the end of our trip...Oh Mark...

-Flashback-

_''Hey Aaron, check this out! KABOOSH! Total awesomeness!''He yelled, and kicked the tree. Only lightly, though._

_''You know Ma'k, that tree might someday decide to take revenge on you, by not giving you the oxygen that you need,''I remarked. A smirk made it's way across his face._

_''Oh yeah? Well, watch me be a ninja and ambush Slendy-man from the trees!''_

_''Really? Watch you fall off and get kicked by the poor tree, you mean.'' I said. He just chuckled and began his trek._

_He didn't get far; The tree kept 'winning'. First, he almost scraped his arm against the bark. But it didn't stop there. Ohhh no. I think that Mark was suffering more than the tree, though he clearly thought the opposite._

_''I'm getting there, you'll see! You just wait!'' _

_It took forever, but finally, he sat on a branch. It seemed sturdy enough. Even if it took him a while, he does work out, I know this for a fact. The only reason he didn't get up there earlier was because he was just messing around. 'Like usual'._

_''Yo Yami! Come up here with me! It'll be fun, I promise!''He exclaimed. His voice had a teasing lilt to it. I...I loved it. _

_''Uhh...I might just break my arm, Mark, are you aware of that? I haven't climbed a tree since I was a wee little lad. You have a death wish for me or something?''I asked. He just outstretched his hand in my direction. Oh jeez, this'll be a car crash for sure..._

_I walked toward the tree, and suddenly zoomed out. There was no one here, I was alone, with Mark, about to climb a tree. The air touched my face, kissing it almost, and I had an almost fleeting thought of what it would be like if it was-_

_''Yami, try to put your leg on the tree, and grab my hand.'' Mark said, snapping me out of my temporary reverie. _

_''Ma'k, I can do it myself. I don't need assistance to climb a little tree.''_

_''Well, sucks for you that I'm here then. Grab on!'' Again, he just waved his arm._

_Shit...I knew this'll end badly, but I did as he said. Shockingly, I came up with ease beside him, no doubt because of his superior strength. But the whole situation was just comical._

_''I gotta say Ma'k, that was impressive. But why are we on the tree in the first place?''_

_''Because it's fun! Don't you go out and about with your friends sometimes?'' He responded, turning my way. It was almost awkward due to the very close space, but it seemed not to bother him at all. Wow, I really feel like a teenage girl. How...Girlish?_

_''No...I always make sure to include Jess in all my outings,, and we never did anything like this. It was always chatting in fancy places with her friends, never a park. Actually, the one time I suggested something like this, she shot me down, and we ended up going to the gym. 'Why climb trees if you can use these treadmills, and ellipticals?' she reasoned. So, we didn't go to the park.'' _

_I looked over to him for any reaction. But it seemed as if he was preoccupied with looking at the sky. One glance above us and I could see why._

_ ''Yami?'' Mark asked, still not looking my way._

_ ''Yeah?'' I responded._

_''It's raining.'' _

_''Shit.''_

_''Come on! Let's run to your house! Hurry up!'' He yelled, and grabbed my hand. Then the worst happened; my sleeve hiked up. Fortunately it wasn't very high,but you could see some marks (no pun intended)._

_When I looked up, his eyes met mine. I just hope that he didn't come to the...right conclusion. He looked at me, his hair already filled with mini clear droplets of the drizzling rain._

_''Yami, what happened?'' Oh no. Shit, shit, shit, shit..._

_''I...scratched myself on the tree, but I didn't want to tell you about it.''_

_''I can patch it up-''He began. I didn't let him continue._

_''I'll be fine, Ma'k. Let's go before we get all soaked.''_

_He ran with me, hand still holding mine. I blushed profusely as we ran the whole way to my house. Damn it Mark..._

-End-

When we reached the house, he left after saying good-bye. His eyes followed me until I shut the door. That was close. I hope that that's all he had seen, but I honestly don't know how high the sleeve gone up. All I can do is act normally, and try to...hide it better. Oh Mark...I'm sorry I'm like this.

_**First-Person: Mark**_

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

A sense of eerie anxiousness crept throughout my entire body, making me shake even more with the cold rain. I'm soaked. But I don't care.

Something is wrong with my best buddy, and I need to know what it is.

First, I really didn't like what I saw in Aaron's eyes. Loneliness, fear, sadness...and longing? The last part ...might just be my imagination. I hate how screwed up he is now. I want to just go up to him and find out what happened to the real Aaron, the one who would make videos playing mindless games, and laugh genuinely with no trace of any lies. True, I probably wouldn't of known better if I hadn't been with him. After all, he hides it so well. But now that I _know _that something is up, I will not let it go. I'll help him get through this. I'll help him get over Jess. My door opened easily with my key, and I stepped inside the warmth. Sure, I was also soaking the carpet, but who cares?

My phone glowed faintly in the darkness. It's gentle glow was almost comforting, and was most likely on the couch. I stumbled blindly,not bothering to turn the lights on. For only being three o'clock, it was really getting a bit dark. The screen notified me of three missed calls and text messages. All from Wade. And he really wonders why everyone complains about him being _so damn_ predictable?

_Dude, answer as fast as you can. I'm seriously worried here, you never miss my calls. -W_

_Hey, what's wrong with you? -W_

_Just text back as soon as you get this... -W_

I sighed, tossing it soundlessly back on the worn brown couch. I don't mean to be petty here, but that's what he gets for thinking that I'm the one that needs 'help'. After all, he's worrying over me like a mother!

All of a sudden, I was tired. Bone tired. The chill of the rain and the weight of my thoughts all came crashing down on me, until I just had to slump on the couch. When have I ever felt this tired? Changing clothes seems like a good idea, but I really don't want to get up...Yeah, lazy, I know, but what can you do? I know that if it was Yami, he would of already been up and running around, tidying up his tea collection maybe. But eh, it's just me here.

My eyes closed, and I inhaled deeply, smelling the scent of rain and the very faint trace of my cologne. Hmm, I need to lay off that stuff...

I woke up about two hours later, to absolute silence. Looks like it stopped raining so hard... I should call Aaron, and see if there were any power outages or if he has a secret fear of lightning...A small smile crept through my face as I grabbed the phone.


	6. Miss Me?

**_First Person-Yamimash_**

I feel like ramming myself into a bus, throwing myself off the Empire State Building, drowning in the Pacific, or hanging off the highest tree I could find. But I know that no matter how good I am at visualizing, I'll never do it. I do know, however, that I feel absolutely awful.

Right after Mark left, I got a text from Jess. And I wish that I never even bothered to turn on my phone. Before I knew it, I started to break down. Isn't this what they talk about in the movies? Where you're fully functioning, but then boom, you snap and explode like a fucking bomb? If so, then I was having an honorary break down of the year. My breath came out in short gasps and my hands started furiously scratching each other, making me feel acute pain. I can't think. Can't move. Can't even breath. I can literally feel my lungs burn for more air, but all it got was the small oxygen that hissed through my clenched teeth. And then...I thought about Jess. Soon, I could even feel cascading droplets of salty water, but I paid no mind to it. It could have been hours, minutes, or even agonizingly long seconds until I started to think normally. Then the soft glow of my own phone lit up the dark room.

_*ring ring *ring ring*_

''Hello?''My voice croaked. Bloody hell-

''Yami? Are you okay, buddy?''

''Yeah...'M fine. Don't worry about me,''I whispered. If I even had a chance of pretending to be normal, I fucking blew it.

A. abnormally long pause was heard on the other end of the line. Finally, a comforting voice broke through. ''I'll come over there again in a sec.''

''Wait, Ma'k, I'm serious, it's okay-''

''No, Aaron, it's not,''He said, ''Stop lying to me and actually accept the help that I'm trying to give you. Tell me the truth, then I leave you alone. But until then, I'll come over every day, no matter what or when. I'll just leave the daily videos for later.''

''...The door's unlocked...'' I said. And then I hung up.

After I was sure I hung up, I finally opened the still unread text. _Hey, it's me, Jess. Just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna come over to get some stuff. It'll take me a while though, since I still gotta finish my shift. You know when I get off. If you lock the door, remember I have keys. _She gets off at five. It's ten minutes past. Maybe she won't come?

Just then, I heard a knock. It was soft, at first, but then a slightly harder knock reverberated though the door. Cold air blew in as I opened it. ''Ma'k, why-''

''Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Is that too much to ask?'' Mark asked, staring at me. I could feel his concern and worry, in his words. He really doesn't have to get so worked up over me...Nothing was said as he hugged me, rubbing small circles on my back while I just leaned on him, tired of everything.

''No...thank you. So much. Want some tea?'' I offered. Something normal has to be done before this goes _too _far.

''Yeah, but I need to go. Where's the bathroom?'' He asked. I pointed down the hallway trying to muster up a smirk, with reasonable results. He zipped down the hallway while I searched through my cabinets. I almost didn't even hear the bitch-I mean, Jess-come in.

''Miss me?'' She asked, crossing her arms and arching her almost surely waxed eyebrows.

_**First-Person: Mark**_

I didn't lie to him, not exactly. I was just looking for something else other than a toilet. Something that might explain to me what's going on. Let's see...the only trashcan I see here is a tiny and girly one...Wow Jess, nice touch. Aha! My eyes scanned the letter rapidly

_Dear Aaron..._

The letter went on and on and on...I couldn't believe that she could write this. That she would stoop that low...But what was she talking about? Did he cheat on her? No. He would never cheat. I know him well enough to know that his loyalty is always something to count on. Always. But what else could she be talking about? All I found was a first aid kit and some questionable bloody tissues. He must of gotten hurt, I guess.

The drawers creaked as I rummaged through them, looking for anything else that would give me a clue, more for my benefit than anyone else's. What? It's always what the detective shows do. These drawers were empty save a roll of toothpaste and soap. I was fully aware that yes, I was being nosy, but come on! Hasn't anyone read a mystery book?!

It was only when I heard a *click* that I stopped everything. One of the drawers had an open panel that I didn't see before. Wow, Sherlokiplier? Markilock?

The empty tiny space behind the panel only had a razor, nothing else. It wasn't even complete, since the handle was missing, and the safeguards to the razor blade was off. It kinda dangerous to have something like that in a drawer, actually. But what would he need with a razor like that? Or..._what would he be doing?_

My heart stopped beating.

Bloody tissues. First aid kit. Razor.

Shit, Yami, what the hell did you think you were doing?!

I opened the bathroom door, with all the intent in the world to confront him. He can't lie. Not anymore. But I heard a bold, feminine voice speak.

''-stooping so low as to do that to yourself-'' It said.

''I WASN'T THINKING!'' Another voice yelled. Was that Yami?!

''YOU'RE SO PATHETIC! CUT-''

''Don't. Say. It.''

At my words, all at once the yelling ceased. I stepped out, crossing my arms. Who does she think she is? The two were facing each other, glaring.

''Get out of here and leave Aaron alone,''I whispered. Jess just stared at me, her mouth open. But I know she heard me. I don't know if I'm on the right conclusion or not, but yelling at him will make it worse. My face didn't even look towards him, and even I knew that he was on the verge of exploding.

''...Excuse me?''She asked, daring to narrow her eyes at me.

''You heard me. Get out,'' I said, louder with more force. With one final glare at me, she picked up her purse from the round little table and huffed away. I looked around. A kettle was on the stove, filled with what was most likely cold water. Tea bags lay beside it. The door was slammed shut, and almost certainly would have been knocked off of it's hinges if it wasn't secured. My eyes met two blue pools of thinly-veiled shame.

''Listen,'' I said. He looked down, avoiding my eyes. ''I don't know what to think anymore, but whatever you were doing...Or, _are _doing, it's not safe. Stop. Please.''

And after that, I simply walked out of the front door, not looking back.


	7. A Little Crazy

**_First -Person: Yamimash_**

''Stop. Please.'' He had said, before leaving. I really screwed things up this time. Guess that's nothing new...Will things ever change? When will I stop being the fuck-up?

I walked towards the door, making sure it was locked. The growing, itching feeling on my arms was growing. And if I didn't do something about it now, it would keep growing. But I...really, really didn't want to do it. But this wasn't my choice. No matter what I do, it always has to come to this. Always. Where did I go wrong? _What a fucking long list..._

I sighed, though no relief was found in the small exhale. The...feeling...was almost like an ache in my mind now. Sooner or later, I will be lying on the bathroom floor, regretting what I'd done. I know it, I can feel it. It's almost impossible to explain. It's like a feeling that nothing is in control or that everything is too much, way too much for you to handle. When you touch that blade, it's like crawling back to an old friend, like a drug. When it pierces through skin...It's like a breath of fresh air, releasing all the pressure. The shame, the troubles...and all the problems seem to be released along with the blood. All of it is a wrong, horrible thing to do, especially when I wasn't raised in a horrible place, or have any 'excuse'. Actually...I had a good childhood. Great parents, clean house, and no financial issues. Almost a picture-perfect place to grow up in.

I don't remember when I started paying attention more; I guess I was more self-conscious when I saw that the subscriber count was growing faster with every video that I uploaded. There were comments and emails and lots of things in my inbox. People sent me fan-art, _fanfictions _(as creepy as it sounds, some of them were very well-written), and tons of positive feedback. But along with the awesome praise came the horrible hate.

_What kind of name is Yamimash?_

_What the hell is on your head? A nest?_

_Shave much? _

_You are such a pansy! I know tons of u-tubers that have more guts than you have in your entire being! What's wrong with you?! STOP SCREAMING IN EVERY FUCKING VIDEO!_

The hate mail continued and amounted. It piled and piled until it was too much to ignore. I would never let it bother me before. The awesome fans were enough for me. I was fine, and smiling all the time. If you asked when it all changed, I wouldn't know either. About two months after I met Jess, it would just be light swats on my arms for stupidity, like failing to make my Jess happy, or not uploading a video that was up to par. And you know, the occasional self-derogatory talks that some people occasionally have with themselves.

Over the months, it wasn't just swats. Jess would ask where I was getting all the bruises from. And when I said, _I fell yesterday, and I landed on my arm, _she only shook her head and laughed at my injuries. I started wearing long sleeved shirts. Not all the time, but only when the marks were too horrible to even be explained easily away. Then, about five months afterward, somewhere in February, it got significantly worse. Videos never lessened; I made sure of that. Always laughing, always smiling. Until I 'accidentally' cut myself with a kitchen knife.

That day, Jess just slammed the door on her way to the study, while I was chopping carrots for a Honey and Cashew recipe. The knife slipped and made a cut on the back of my hand. Naturally, it hurt like hell. It was so unexpected, and soon a bright, red bead popped up to the surface.

_I hurriedly rushed to the bathroom and found some bandages. I promised myself that I would never do that again, and that was that. _

That's what a normal person would do. I would have done that. But instead of doing that, I just stared at the cut and the bright cherry-red drop of blood. The pain faded quickly, but that wasn't what I was marveling about. I realized that during that moment of pain, my mind just blacked out and focused. No Jess, no cooking, nothing. So peaceful. And if I were forced to pinpoint what moment I decided to go downhill, that would be it.

_**First-Person: Mark**_

The small apartment couldn't be any more silent. It was only ten minutes ago that I stupidly left Yami, after the whole chaotic situation was over. I still can't believe that Jess would do such a thing like that. She gives blondes a bad name. **(No offense!)**

Bloody tissues, and a very unprotected and hazardous bloody razor, clearly point out something dark...Something that I hope he's not even _thinking _about. I only heard of it a few times before, though I never really heard of it in-depth. I think it's called...But it can't be... Already, even when I think it, I know it's true. As much as I don't want it to be. Oh Yami...why? How could you? Was it Jess? Was it me? Or was I not there for you...

I'm completely shocked. In his videos, he's so lively...But it explains everything. Fewer videos... At time, he only did two over the course of four days... Over-exaggerated laugh, and the long-sleeved shirts. Now that I think about it... He even said when I was over at his house -this was more than a year ago- that he hated wearing long-sleeved shirts! How could I not remember that! Ugh, I'm so stupid...I need to help him, now more than ever. This can't be happening. Not to my- _he's not even mine - _Yami. He's way too important to me for this to happen to him. Tomorrow after I wash up and eat some cereal, I'll visit him. And I'll get through to him. I'll help Aaron help himself.

I run my hand through my hair trying to calm down. I need to approach this the right way. Time to do my research. I need to rain-check on my videos though, at least for today. Hmm...

I walk to my computer, which is down the beige hall and in my room. This is it. The legendary machine that uploads my videos. I love the internet, but I _never _thought I'd be looking up what _self-harm _is. Let's see... Search results on Google...Hmm. A few results popped up, but I wasn't there to look at..._images_...

_**What is Self-Harm?**_

**Self**-injury, also called **self**-**harm**, is the act of deliberately harming your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It's typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, **self**-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration.

***All credit goes to Google and Wikipedia***

Oh...Aaron... Why would you try to hide from me? What's wrong? I didn't know this...I should have seen the signs, or made more effort. This can't be happening...No way. I have to do something about it, before it goes to far.

**First-Person: Yamimash**

After I finished reminiscing, I was horribly desperate. But I resisted, after putting Mark's disappointed face in my mind over and over again. I just passed a few days just moving, not even doing a single video. But now, I needed something to do, something that would keep me going on my clean streak.

It was seven o'clock in the evening. So, instead of doing what I so terribly wanted, I finally uploaded a video to Youtube, playing an indie game that someone emailed me...But I wasn't even scared. Not one scream. Sure, I faked some expressions, but it didn't seem to matter. It lasted ten minutes, and my fans were okay with it. I mean, I love my fans, but I seem to tire out more easily playing games, and it takes a long time to work up the adequate enthusiasm to even make videos.

I wondered what Mark was doing now. I mean, it was only a days ago, but that was also the last time we talked. I feel guilty, but I just didn't feel well enough to even talk to anyone. I was always thinking about Mark, much to my surprise. I shouldn't think about him this much, but I can't seem to help it.

It was already eleven o'clock p.m, and I couldn't sleep. It was impossible, I felt impossibly restless for some reason. It annoyed me. All I wanted was to start a new day, and I couldn't even have that.

So difficult...it was so difficult to abstain. I knew my cure was in the hidden compartment...The note still in the trashcan... No one around...

My shaky legs started to walk to the bathroom. I wanted to stop, but I didn't. I wanted the relief, but I knew I shouldn't. I'm sorry...Already my hands were struggling to open the compartment with the latch on the side. It finally opened, and I reached in the gap, pulling out my razor blade, and some tissues from the box near the sink. When I put it to my wrist, I inwardly shivered because of the chill it had.

I must have been a little crazy, because it seemed to talk only to me. _''It's okay, Aaron. It's alright...Give all your problems to me, right now...do it...you can...so do it...''_

I felt little pain; I was used to it already, anyways. No amount of time that could possibly pass could make me forget the feeling, the feeling of relief. I always did it slowly, to feel the most possible sensation of pain. When I separated it, I could see an instant blob of blood rising from the cut. This doesn't look very serious, I don't think.

Now it turned into a stream wanting to be a river. The usual drops of blood I get would be seventeen, at the most. It became a sort of ritual to just watch and count how many drops come from each individual cut. I was never worried, because I would never do many at the same time. I wasn't crazy...

I guess I wasn't paying much attention. I looked down, and nearly yelped because the tissue was almost sunken through. It was just an ordinary tissue, but _still._ Most of it was covered, and my hand was still bleeding. I wasn't panicked, since I'm not really queasy at the sight of blood, especially my own. The pain released all my stress from abstaining, and the blood was like a reward. I was just surprised.

Soon, I knew I needed to try and go to sleep a little, so I reached in the other drawer and got some bandages. Once my wound was wrapped on nice and tight, I went to my computer to turn it off. However, a notification was flashing on my screen. *_'Markiplier' has uploaded a video. 'Some Encouragement'_

What could he possibly encourage his fans to do? He already is a pretty good influence, better than those bloody cursing fools that don't encourage their fans for anything at all.

_**(A.N: I mean no insult to anyone. Please don't kill me. Hope you're enjoying. XD)**_


	8. Some Encouragement

**_First-Person: Yamimash _**

The unexpected video piqued my curiosity. Encouragement, huh? For what exactly? I clicked on the notification, and it took me to the Youtube video page. All the description says is: _This is for the fans who feel this way, and who need encouragement to continue and move on over problems. Thank you so much for watching and being loyal fans, I can't thank you enough. Enjoy._

The video took a bit to load, though I didn't mind. Mark's face popped up as the thumbnail of the video, and I realized that comments...were strangely disabled for the video. I don't think he ever did that before. When I finally clicked the play button, I was soothed by Mark's smooth and suave voice flooding my ears.

''_Hello everyone, this is Markiplier here, and for this really short video, I wanted to tell you guys that you're not alone. I know that sometimes, we all feel like falling short of our goals, but. Don't. Give. Up. You're better than this. You should know that. For those of you going through issues like reckless activities, or...Self Harm...But I'm sure, somewhere out there, there is someone who cares. I care. Right now I hope everybody watching __**(A.N: Or reading...) **__knows that I hope that you will rise above this. It's not worth it. Please, Please don't do this to yourself. _

I_ just realized a friend of mine is going through the exact same thing. It took me that long to see the weight of this issue, and it's a heavy, secret burden to carry. And for my friend...I know it hurts...I want to understand, just tell me. I can take your pain. Don't resort to this. Anyways...For those people who do this...I just want you to know someone cares. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Well...that's all for now... And I'll see you, in the next video. Bye-Bye!_''

The video ended with no links, no nothing. A hot stab of shame filled my mind and paralyzed my body, since fear started to sink in. I felt like if I were plunged in hot water. Who was he talking about? He couldn't have been talking about me, right? Yeah, I admit, I do struggle with issues. And it sometimes does get too be a bit too much. I force myself to keep silent. All this time, I've been struggling by myself, without telling a soul about my troubles. And lately, it's like it's all being dug up, one chunk at a time.

An e-mail notification started flashing in the corner of my screen. Now normally, I wouldn't have clicked on it. Who checks their e-mail anymore, anyways? _**(No offense, I still**_**_ check my e-__mail__ :))_** But a certain name caught my eye. *_'Markiplier' has sent you an e-mail._* What now? Don't tell me...

_From: Mark ; Subject: Are You Alright?_

_Hey buddy... I hope you saw the video I uploaded. And I want to just let you know..._

_I saw it all. The scars, the tissues, the razor. And I know, unfortunately, the behavior you have, I pieced it together, and it makes sense. I hope you're not mad, or angry... I just want you to know what I think. Please, if you want to, contact me, so I'll know you're not mad...And that it would be okay for me to ever come over again. But please, Yami...Don't hide from me anymore...Also, as a side note, some of your fans flooded over to my channel. They really want to know what's happening, and I don't know what to tell them, or if I should say anything at all. Tell me what you think._

_I can't believe it. _There was even a link in the e-mail to the video I'd just seen, and all my mind could register was the shock. I knew he saw it all. No matter how much denial I had all this time, I knew that somehow and someway, it would come out. I guess I 'm lucky it wasn't to anyone else but Mark. But I also know that he might possibly hate me, or think I'm disgusting. A freak, or a monster. How could this happen?! I tried so hard, and he just discovers it all like that? It was my fault. I wanted to cut so badly again, but I knew I couldn't. For now, I can push away the urge to release the inner scream onto my arms. Mark...I might even care for him more than I ever realized...

He has the power over me to change everything I know, I feel it. Can he save me? God...I sure hope so. It kills me, a million times over, to know that someone knows you're deepest secret, the one you tried to hide so well, even if it killed you slowly inside.

I have to go. Go walk, go eat, go sleep, go die, whatever. I just feel lifeless after this chaotic moment. Maybe a nap would do...

I finally settled down on my bed, with my old doggie pajamas that Mark once liked so much, and a woolen blue blanket over my head. My room was dark, with the moonlight being filtered through the blinds. It's almost beautiful when I realize that all I hear is the utter silence. I looked at the white bandages, which completely shattered the temporary and delicate moment. I had just changed them a couple hours ago. The last thought that echoed through my head was: _Where did the Yami, or the real Aaron go?_

**_First-Person: Mark_**

I feel sick. I'm nervous, my hands are sweaty, and I'm pacing furiously in my bedroom. How he reacted, I may never know. He could hate me and never talk to me again. So far, no response whatsoever. Yeah, Two-hundred dislikes. Twenty-thousand likes. But did Yamimash watch it?

I looked on his channel for new activity, practically stalking him as I look for his most recent activity. He uploaded a video, but that was before I uploaded my own video. No activity since. I wonder if it's a bad thing? Or maybe he is still mad at me for even e-mailing him. Maybe if I didn't e-mail him, he wouldn't know that it was specifically meant for him, and I could have done something else...But what else was there to do? Confront him directly, like I wanted to? Talk to him over texts, or maybe walk to his house and stuff a deep heartfelt and caring note in his mailbox? The last option seems kind of extreme...But maybe that's what he needs.

Maybe... _Maybe __he needs something so extreme, something that he won't expect_.. Something that will catch him off guard, something that will surprise him. I need him to realize that he's important. Not just to me, but to the whole world. I need to get him to snap out of it, whatever _'it' _is. Now. So, in the end, and all things considered, I do not in the least regret my decision. Aaron needs help to help himself, and maybe if I help him, I'll get the old Yami back. Nothing could be worth more than that. Yami can't be Yamimash if there is nothing of himself to begin with.

I'm beginning to get a just a little impatient. I know I just can't expect him to instantly see the video and the e-mail, but I need to know what he thinks. Should I just take it down? It's not like I'm not satisfied with the video, it's just that I'm...nervous.

I'm nervous because one person that needs to see the video along with other fans may not have yet, and may never will after he's seen the e-mail. I may have screwed everything up, and I have no idea how to take it back. Taking down the video won't change much, and I can't de-send an e-mail. It's all up to him how he reacts, and I'm literally giving him the power to hurt me in the deepest way possible, if he so chooses to ignore me and completely reject me.

My stomach is starting to feel like I'm in the rollercoaster the size of the Rocky Mountains. And I think I may be getting a faint headache to top it all off. Nothing aspirin and Advil can't handle, but I just can't get my eyes off my inbox. I'm just hoping that I will see the familiar 'Yamimash' notification and see that he got the message and tell me that everything is okay. But things like these aren't okay, are they? I need him to see that I care, that I will be there. And I think I have a gut feeling that that video will help more than just one person. I just can't imagine how low Aaron would have to be to do that to himself. I mean, my life isn't perfect either, but it's not bad at all.

If I think that the world has ended when I stubbed my toe, how must Aaron feel when he feels the 'urge' to do ...to cut himself? To make himself bleed crimson tears on that pale skin of his?

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

Or better yet...

_What has Yami gotten himself into?_

Needless to say, my sleep was fitful. I tossed and turned, thought about Aaron, then tossed and turned some more. At one point I got up and opened the curtains that protected the darkness from the moonlight. For five straight minutes, I stared up into the night sky, looking at the velvety darkness and it's wandering stars. Wow, am I poetic or what? Marki-poet? Poet-plier? Genius names, right? Again, sleep did not come easy.


	9. It's Okay

**_First-Person: Yamimash_**

I slowly awoke to chills all over my body. I seemed to have kicked off my blanket while I slept. And to my surprise, most of the pillows were spewed all over the floor. Yikes, I'm cold. I only know one thing that could fix this...time for my own brand of Special Tea.

I remember when Mark used to even make my own tea for me, but that seems like forever ago! I originally grew up in the U.K, so I kind of picked up my parents' tea preferences. I drink what's called 'black tea', but the brand I buy has some various scents. There's Jasmine, Chrysanthemum, and sometimes fruit if I feel like it. Other times I just mix it all up and hope for the best. But let me just say; No tea that has been prepared by me has ever failed in any way. I swear by my British origins. And...I'm getting caught up in talking about tea. Talk about no social life...

When I swung my legs over the bed to the floor, I felt a sort of stiffness in my arm. Something was not right. But one glance was all I needed to assure that it was only the bandages that were around my left arm. Damn bandages, I hate it. I can't even look at the color red ever again without thinking too much about it, and now white was beginning to be a negative color too. Am I screwed up or what?

The kitchen floor was cold. That's what I get for not having any socks on. It wasn't much to get the old blue kettle down from it's usual spot, always near the stove. I washed that thing almost obsessively after every use, because I need to have it ready if I need to make any more special blends. I turned on the old stove, and waited for the lukewarm water to boil.

I thought about Mark. Funny how often that happens now. I mean, he's my...best pal? The best friend that I ever had? Hell, I don't even know anymore. I get a nagging feeling when I call him a friend, but that's all he'll ever be. I don't think he's gay, how can he be? With the way that he is, it's a wonder that he doesn't have a girlfriend. I know that I even have fangirls filing out applications just for him on _my _channel. Mark gets a kick out of it whenever I send him the 'applications'. Then again, I also get those blasted 'applications' from the occasional fan too. It's just that, I had Jess. And now...

''SHIT! HOLY SHIT!'' I yelled, when hot water assaulted my hand after it started being practically thrown out of the kettle. Damn, why wasn't I paying more attentio-

_Just like how Jess knows that a long attention span is one of the many thing I don't have._

At that point, I realized that I really didn't care if I was being burned. I let the kettle whistle. My hand did not leave the stove, and they were beginning to take on a reddish tinge where the water had touched them. After a few minutes, my left hand poured the tea into my classic mug. Great, so now both arms had damage.

It's funny how I don't care. Is it just me, or is the world a little more unbearable?

I then proceeded to reply to Mark's e-mail, whether I wanted to or not.

**_First-Person: Mark_**

I woke up with a sick stomach. My head hurts, and I had too little sleep last night. It's like the idea of my friend hurting planted a cloud of worry in my body, spreading uncertainty and nausea everywhere it went. Damn. What time is it?

_12:00 p.m_

HOLY FUCK! It's late! I need to check to see if he even replied to my message...If he will ever speak to me again. If I fucked everything up. If it was all completely fucked over from the start, just like the unfair Jeff The Killer game I played. Even though I said I wouldn't regret the video, and that I would go through with the e-mail, doubts still crawled in my mind, ugly and invading. I know he checks his e-mail. It's a fact, I would never forget it. I have no doubt that he saw it. Great, now that I thought it, I still need to convince myself that it's true.

_I am doomed._

I hastily felt my little nightstand for my phone. It's habit for me to put it there, since I can't live without my phone. After all, it's another way to talk to Aaron, and hear that British accent of his. A new notification popped up on the blue screen, and I nearly _jumped for joy_. There, in black bold letters and the subject name, was:

**It's okay. **_Yamimash.

_It's okay. I'm fine. I saw your little video, and you made me feel like a little girl. I feel so ashamed that you had to see this side of me. And about the fans? Tell them what you want. It doesn't matter anymore. But I have to tell you that... I won't change._

What? What did he mean that he wasn't going to change?! Doesn't he realize that he can get help for this? At this point, I was really confused and frustrated, but then I turned my attention back to the text and read on.

_I'm so sorry, Mark, I really am. I hate the way I am, but it's too late to change it. I guess I will just be another statistic, a nobody who wasn't deserving of help. I never was, actually. I can't use words to express my gratitude for our friendship, however involved it was, and you are problably the reason why I still woke up this morning, breathing and living and being able to still sit at my computer to talk to you. And I mean this only in the nicest way possible:_

_Just because you know about my bloody (haha, excuse the pun, right Mark?) 'problem', doesn't mean you know everything about me. I think (I actually think a lot of things, Mark) I actually commited a crime far worse than that. I can't stop the cutting, it just happens. Without it, even you wouldn't be enough to keep me alive. I know that only just one and a half years ago I was normal, I was actually fine. But now I can't stop. And I know this isn't didn't start just because I had a little pressure on me. I think, now I know the real secret that I tried to hide from myself, the real secret that lead me to cutting so I would forget. No, it isn't about Jess. And no, it wasn't all about the hate I would get. So, I think I will tell you before I can't anymore. As a sort of conclusion. Here's my crime that I cannot forgive even myself for._

_I fell in love with someone. Way before I dated Jess. Jess was there to be a sort of excuse for me, so that everyone could see that I was taken. Jess was with me to make someone jealous. I thought I was horrible for using her, only to find out that she had me strung along a fancy string too. It was all a very intricate lie. But I needed to tell myself I loved her. I gave her gifts, my love, and even gave up trying to convert her to my tea kingdom, but it wasn't enough. I never was enough. I fell in love with_

...

My mouth was agap during the whole e-mail, and it fell to the floor when I read the last paragraph. Yami...In love with someone? That is no 'crime', and it certainly isn't something to hurt yourself over! And I am getting very bad vibes from this. It seems more like a goodbye than just a response. But the e-mail got cut off. He didn't want to tell me or something? I'm shocked...I need to go see him. Just walk over to his house and check up on him. To see if he's okay.

_Yeah, if I keep telling myself that, maybe I'll start to believe it. _

My feet were hurried as I threw on a hoodie after grabbing a worn 'Markiplier' T-shirt. Jeans were on in no time. And by the time I stepped into my white sneakers, my mind was starting to go into full-blown panic mode. Did I shut the door? Did I even check to see if the clothes I was wearing were even clean at all? But then again, if clothes were more important to me than Aaron, then-wait, nothing in the world is more important to me than Aaron. Walking is way too slow right now, so I'll just sprint instead.

A few cars passed, some honked as I maneuvered through the streets. His house isn't far now...Found it! And what do you know? The door is unlocked! ...I have no idea if I should be grateful or worried. I closed the brown door behind me, and stepped onto the carpet of his living room. The dull green felt couch was empty. The messy kitchen was empty. Even his den was empty. I was about to give up on looking, until I heard a soft, barely there noise. It was so quiet, then a louder one took it's place. There were only two rooms I didn't check; the bathroom and his bedroom. The whimpers were getting more frequent.

I ran to the bathroom door and banged on it. ''Yami, Yami, can you hear me? What's going on? Tell me now or I'll break down this damn door!'' I yelled, and I did not just give him an empty threat.

''G-go a-away, Ma'k. Leave m-me be.'' He said, and I had to strain myself against the door to catch it. I banged on the door once more.

''Open this door or I swear to God I will-''

''THEN DO IT!'' He yelled. ''JUST STOP TALKING!'' That's the way he wanted it, huh? Well, I'll give it to him. The door gave way much too easily against my strength, and I tried to focus my blurry eyes.

He was sprawled on the dull brown tile, his hair all mussed. I couldn't see his brown eyes, since they were closed and crying. His skin was paler than I had ever seen it. For once, he had on a grey T-shirt, and a pair of black shorts. But I saw the extent of the damage.

''Aaron...''I sighed.

''Ma'k...'' He breathed, still not opening his eyes.

_**O.O cliffhanger! **_


	10. It All Started With You

_**First-Person: Yamimash**_

I barely heard him come in the house. It was only when I heard his not-at-all quiet footsteps that I froze. But then again, how on earth can I explain this mess when he would inevitably find me? There aren't any sane, logical reasons that I could give him to explain all this away. There just _isn't _any. But, it's his fault. _I didn't even tell him he needed to come over!_

I guess, in my mind, I knew the truth. He didn't come over just because he thought he needed to... He came over because he thought I needed him. What kind of fucked up love story is this?! Last I checked, Juliet didn't have major depressive issues (well, at least not at first) and Romeo didn't have to charge in (literally _charge in_) and save her _all_ the time, since she (in this situation) apparently has self-confidence issues. I'm the male-equivalent of alternate Juliet, and Mark is the definition of Romeo. At least, to me.

_Holy shit, what kind of thing am I on?_

I tried to stay as quiet as was possible, though I could feel the blood soaking into my shorts. But a small, tiny giggle broke through. And then the involuntary blubbering. And finally, the nonsensical, hysterical ramblings that spewed out of my mouth. I really am a mess, aren't I? _Yes, _I thought. _Yeah, I guess I am a huge, disastrous, dangerous, and poisonous mess. Mark shouldn't be forced to be within even ten feet from me._

''Yami? Yami, can you hear me? What's-''

I wasn't even listening to what he was saying. Something about breaking down my bathroom door or something. But I honestly just don't care anymore. Distraught and teary, I tried to speak, and tell him to go away. To tell him that I didn't need him. To plead for him to leave me alone. It came out hoarse, and was barely heard in my ears. Before long, I could feel tears spilling over, and I closed my eyes so I wouldn't feel its salty sting. I hoped to God Mark went away. I hate being so fucking emotional! It's like a living hell!

No matter what I wanted, I knew that just behind the other side of that wooden door, Mark was there. Banging on the door. My eyes were still closed, just like a game of 'If you can't see me, I can't see you'. But just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it isn't there. So, against all the hope in my body, Mark didn't 'magically' disappear. Far from it. ''Open this door or I swear to God I will-''

''THEN DO IT! JUST STOP TALKING!'' I screamed, but my vocal cords were too worn right now. I ended up just doing a weak yell. But it was enough, I know. It was definitely enough. Already the I could feel the world getting a little blurry around the edges, a bit more distorted. If I didn't know any better I would say that by the sound of it, Mark just burst through the door...What a convincing delusion.

Which made it that much harder to accept what was happening.

''Yami...'' I heard him say. I didn't dare open my eyes. It would just make me lash out again, and I knew it.

''Ma'k...'' Hah, I guess Karma's a real bitch. I did this to myself. I deserve it all.

I vaguely registered that he was carrying me. All I felt was a lightness I hadn't felt in a long time. Seems like ages ago. In another time, another place. I was almost tempted to say, _'__Am I dead yet?'_, but instead, I kept my mouth shut. No need to make this more melodramatic than it already is. No need to say anything, actually.

''It's okay Yami, it's okay. You're gonna be okay. We are gonna be okay. The...cuts, aren't that deep, I don't think...''

Sweet nothings were continuously whispered in my ear. Nice try, Mark. Maybe you should waste your breath somewhere else. Don't waste your time on something that's already broken.

"Believe me, you aren't broken, you just need a little bit of super glue, buddy. And I am _not _wasting my breath, especially if I know you can hear me. You'll be okay." He said. Did I say that out loud? Well, if I can't even control my emotions, I can't expect to control my mouth either, can I? Especially when everything hidden starts to bubble to the surface. I've suppressed my emotions long enough, I suppose.

I recognized my couch when I felt the worn, but soft texture of it. How nice.

Finally, out of nowhere, I opened my eyes. And when I saw him carrying a small wet towel in one hand, a dry one in the other, and my trusty box of band aids perched precariously in between the two, it suddenly hit me.

_What have I done?!_

**_First-Person: Markiplier_**

_What the hell do I do?_

That was my first thought. My second:

_What the hell has HE done?!_

Out of all things, I did _not _expect this. To see him on the floor like that. To see him slowly close his eyes. To see him break down in a heap. My -no, he's not mine, never was- Yami all _empty-like_. I nearly wanted to cry myself incoherently too, because this was all a very horrible nightmare that I had to wake up from. Except...It's not.

After a second of deciding, I just lifted him up into my arms. I caught a glimpse of his closed eyes before his head rolled back. The living room was closest, so I would be able to set him on that old couch of his, while I could go look for first aid stuff. I like this plan, it's solid, it's easy. If only I wasn't so shaky and nervous and _panicking. _To occupy my mind, I let whatever I wanted to say come out of my mouth, without abandon.

_''You'll be okay, Yami. You'll be fine. Can you hear me? Can you hear my 'awesome' voice? Come on, say something. Anything. Please.'' _I quickly looked at his face for progress. My feet were frozen on the same tile floor, and I tried to not look at the red 'mess' on it. He has to say something.

''It's okay Yami, it's okay. You're gonna be okay. We are gonna be okay. The...cuts, aren't that deep, I don't think,'' I said, loudly and clearly.

''Don't waste your breath Ma'k, especially on something that's already so broken,'' He whispered. I pulled a shaky smile on my face and then slowly moved out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

''Believe me, you aren't broken, you just need a little bit of super glue, buddy. And I am _not _wasting my breath, especially if I know you can hear me. You'll be okay,'' I said, using my recording voice for an added effect. I'm Markiplier. Hero of awesomeness and Warfstaches. So how come my knees were so shaky when I finally let go of Yami on the couch?

Making sure he was seated upright, I bolted to the bathroom again. The whole time his wounds were still bleeding, although not as much. All my research on the topic gave me a few pointers. I would need two towels, one wet with water and the other perfectly dry. _Check, _I said to myself when I hurriedly shut off the sink. Secondly, I would need big band aids. Similar to 'heavy artillery' compared to those tiny 'Spongebob' ones that barely stuck on. What rip-offs those were...Anyways, I scanned through the cabinet under the sink, knocking over a few things. A box of band aids. _The kind that I needed. _

Yami was patiently waiting on the couch. Or rather, it _looked _like he was patiently waiting, since it appears he hasn't even moved a muscle since I left the room.

Once he saw what I had in my hands, he just stared straight ahead. He didn't complain, nor pay attention really when I moved the wet towel over the various cuts on his left arm. An eerie silence seemed to grip us both. I truthfully didn't know what to say, or even if there was _anything _to say. I didn't know about him though. Was he mad? _Angry_? Or-

_Or maybe he's frustrated with you for trying to help when he clearly didn't need it._

I wanted to almost hit my head when that traitorous thought broke through. It almost made me freeze up. But nevertheless, I continued cleaning it with the cuts with the wet towel, then gently drying it with the other. My hands were almost excruciatingly trying to be gentle, but since he had a blank face on, I couldn't tell if it hurt at all or not. For a person who's getting taken care of, it's almost as if he's deliberately trying to make it hard on me. Well... Nevermind. That's definitely not true, and I know it. I may not have the slightest idea what'a going on in that British head of his, but I'm damn sure that whatever it is, it isn't good. What makes a person harm themselves? To want to do _this? _Was I not there for him? _Did he even need me? _

''Ouch.''

''Oh, sorry! I'm, uh, just trying to clean it up al little, pal. Bandages are next, so it's not over,'' I responded. His brown eyes finally looked around; at the room, at the couch, at the wounds...just not at me. At least he wasn't staring at the wall like he was earlier, so that is something that I have to be grateful for.

The bandages weren't hard to put on. In the end, all he needed was three _huge _bandages and a tiny small one. No biggie. I almost felt like a doctor, actually. Surgeon Simulator, anyone? ''All better, Yami. Nothing to worry about. So, would you mind -oh, I don't know, _explaining a bit_?''

His face started to blush a little bit, but he still kept his head down. After a pause, I sat down next to him, because for one; It seemed appropriate, and two; The in between pose between half kneeling yet not touching the floor was uncomfortable. There were no harsh movements, and no quick words. I kept staring at him, refusing to look away. Finally, I heard a sigh escape from his lips.

_''It all started...with you.''_

**A.N:**

Hello Moustachians! Updates may take longer since my prewritten story kind of ends here. But no worries! I'll write the other chapters one way or another. And sorry if this chapter may seem to move along slowly, it's just that I wanted to capture the 'angst' that I feel should be all over this chapter! XD . Thank you for your awesome reviews and support! As always, they are appreciated! :)


	11. Promises

**_First-Person: Yamimash_**

_''It all started...with you,'' _I whispered. Instantly, doubts rushed in, filling my head with nausea and confusion. Confusion of the very worst kind.

_That was completely impulsive. Did you mean to say that out loud? Now what will he think? What will you say? Will he ask? Does he even...care?_

The silence was thickening, becoming something more tangible. It was a blanket of _awkwardness _in the air, moving around until an unbreakable lump formed right in my throat. I can't speak, even if I wanted to. So how will I say that I take it back? Do I even _want _to take it back? So many questions, and so little answers. My gaze was locked on my ruined black shorts. Only our shallow breaths filled the silence. I didn't dare look up.

''Umm...Yami? I don't really know what you're talking about, buddy. Did I...do something? I just...I mean...''

It's okay Ma'k. I'm fine. I don't need whatever help you want to give me. I don't need any help at all. Just forget me, like you would forget a childhood friend. Remember the good moments, and forget all the bad ones, like when they broke your favorite toy, or made you worry over them to just plain push you away. A lost cause is all you'll ever find here, since I don't need your help. I'm just a statistic now, and that's all I'll ever be. You don't need me. And I certainly don't need you.

_I would've said all that and more. After all, if I can lie to myself, why can't I lie to him?_

But I just pulled up a smile, that I'm sure looked empty, lost, and out-of-place. I felt the corners of my lips lift up a little anyway. It's enough. ''Just forget it, Ma'k, it's okay; everything's okay, and you came here for nothing. Just leave...and give me my space, if you would be so kind.''

''Well for today, Yami, I'm not going to be so kind. Actually, I'll be a big bad jerk and stay here, since you want me out so badly,'' He responded.

''I don't even need you here. I would have lived, you know. It's not like I want to die,'' I responded. Already I could tell I was pushing his buttons. And man did I want to push and smash those same buttons until he gets the hell out of here. When will he take the hint?

''Well, it sure doesn't look that way, _friend. _It really didn't look that way, at least not to me,''He said, fidgeting next to me. Luckily, I know how to play on his quick and fiery temper. He won't last long if I say just the right things...things that I know I don't mean.

''I wasn't asking you what it fucking looked like, _Ma'k, _I'm telling you that I don't need you here. In fact, _piss off._'' I didn't mean it, no I didn't mean any of it, please don't take it the wrong way, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just leave. Just get out, let me be. Let me-

''I guess I'm sorry that you apparently don't need me here, but I'm not going because someone's throwing a fit over being caught _red-handed,_'' He snapped. I lifted my head up at that, because now _I'm _getting angry too. ''Look, you don't need to bury your nose in someone else's business, alright? I'm not suicidal, so leave me alone!''

At that statement, he stood up immediately and faced me. I looked up to meet his eyes, angry and wild and _stubborn,_ but all of that and more wouldn't stop me. He won't win. Not if I can help it.

''_You're not suicidal? _What do you call cutting up your _arms _like that? _Therapy?_ Don't tell another sick joke, Yami, because I won't believe not one word of it. Do you even know how messed up it looks? Do you-''

''If you hate it so much, then go. _Leave. _Just because you found out, doesn't mean I won't do it again. These scars are part of me, part of who I am. You think I'm suicidal? I think I'm actually _trying to live_, thank you very much,'' I finished. I could feel my voice wobble and teeter until it gave out at the end. I could see Mark's chest visibly rising and falling in front of me. His face reddened. And if I had the capability to cry now, I would have. I would have made an ocean just to drown myself in its murky depths. Why is it turning out like this?

''Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll start to believe it,'' He said. This time, the tables turned. _He _was the one not looking at me now. My brain was emotional; I was confused. I really don't mean it when I say-

''_I hate you. Get out. Please.''_

I didn't even cry when I heard the door slam. I just cried when he took my heart with him.

_**First-Person: Markiplier**_

How dare he?! All I did was help him, I even bandaged his wounds for him, and he yells at me? Telling me to get out? I almost wanted to hit him, as horrible that sounds. I would never hurt him, though. I just...lost my cool. For a long moment. At least I know that, according to him, he's not suicidal. This is coming from the guy who chopped up his arm and made it bleed as a sort of therapy, but...I trust him. For now.

If I were thinking clearly and precisely, I would stomp all the way back to his house again, and apologize profusely. After begging for forgiveness, I would ask what he meant when he said that it 'started' with _me. _But as it is, I'm not thinking clearly and precisely. If I went to his house now, I would run all the way. And I wouldn't even think about apologizing. He'll get his _apology_ when he gets his butt in a therapist's chair. _That_'s _what I would do. _

_But since that's not an option, I need to chill. _

Climbing the stairs to my second story apartment was easy. Getting into my apartment and sitting down was the hard part. Because as long as I had time to sit, I had time to think. So that's why I didn't even blink when my phone was next to my ear, already dialing. ''Hey, uhh, Wade, do you feel like hanging out?''

''Is this Mark?!'' He yelled.

''Gosh, make me deaf will you? And yeah, it's me. Unless someone hijacked my phone and impersonated my unique yet awesome voice,''I said, putting as much cheer in it as I could manage. I could hear him laugh on the other end.

''No man, it's just that you haven't had us over in a long time. It's twelve-thirty, and I haven't had lunch yet. Would ya mind ordering pizza?''

''Nah, I'm actually starving too. I completely skipped breakfast, and I didn't even notice,'' I sheepishly admitted. My stomach was finally making itself heard through a myriad of growls and rumbles. Pizza sounds awesome right now, it might even boost my spirits.

''Nice...I'll let Bob know about it too. He might be late though, since he's hanging out with his girlfriend. See you there!''

''Alright...Bye.''

The call ended, and I found myself not as sad. But it didn't stop me thinking about the whole situation entirely. Since pizza is Wade's favorite, I had it on speed dial. In no time a pepperoni pizza was hot and ready and on its way. I just wish it would instantly appear, because I skipped breakfast, and my usual lunch is at eleven thirty to twelve-ish. Should I...call Yami too? Would he even answer? I should have never said anything at all...

Why did I even yell at him? I should have known better! Leave it to me to mess everything up, I guess.

*knock knock*

''The door is open!'' I yelled. In three, two, one...

''What's up, man?'' Wade asked, as he plopped down on the cheap leather couch next to me. I picked up the remote and flipped through the channels in a bored manner, until Wade knocked the remote out of my hand. ''What the hell dude?!'' I exclaimed.

''Breaking Bad is on! Didn't that catch your attention at all? Or are you still thinking about your 'emo-ness'?'' He said, leaning back into the couch. '''Emo-ness?'''

''Well...me and Bob needed to put a term on your tiny depression, so we though that you 'retreated' into your emo corner or something. You stopped talking to us, and you didn't even answer when I tried to call or text you, so... that's where your 'emo-ness' was born,'' He explained.

''Whatever. You're crazy. Just shut up and watch your 'Breaking Bad'.''

''Yeah I will!''

Time passed reasonably after that. Wade and I made casual small talk, about this and that. What new games he heard of, and how many subscribers I had. How many times did he trip in the last month, and how much I hated YouTube's ever-so-changing interface. I hated it just as much as Yami does, actually. But I made sure not to mention Yami at all. I don't know why, but it makes me a little nervous. Halfway through the episode, a knock was heard at the door. The pizza delivery boy looked like he didn't even want to be there, much less give us any pizza. That didn't stop me from chirping out a quick ''Thank you'' and toss the tip at him. And only then did I see him smile before I closed he door. ''Okay Wade, remember that this pizza is to be shared, so don't eat it all.''

''Screw you! Hank and Jesse are making a master plan!''

''Hey...Wade?'' I asked, biting my lip from my sudden nervousness.

''Yeah?'' He asked, eyes still glued to the screen.

''Did you see my new video?'' I asked, crossing my fingers desperately for a no. Because if he did, and I just reminded him or something, I am in a _shit-load_ of trouble. More trouble than when I'm on my sixth page in Slenderman: The Game. ''Sorry dude, haven't had the time. Why? Did you upload something awesome?''

''Yeah dude,'' I lied, while trying to stifle a sigh of relief. ''A new Amnesia custom story, but I won't spoil it for you.''

''Okay,'' He responded, eyes returning back to the HD television. Phew, I guess that's over... Because if anybody besides Yami sees it and 'confronts' me about it...even _I _admit that it would look kinda suspicious for me. Speaking about Yami... What is he doing now? I shouldn't even be caring, after all those words were exchanged, but...is he thinking about me? Does he really hate me? I certainly don't hate him, not at all. I shouldn't have started an argument in the first place. Tomorrow, I will break down his door -the _front _door this time- and I will be a Hero-plier, to help him stop. Because as long as I can be there, I'll make him see he doesn't have a reason to start ever again. _I promise._

And Markiplier never breaks his promises.

**_A.N:_**

_Hello! I just wanted to end the chapter with a happy-ish note, and lighten the angst to a more managable level. And I have to say thank-you for all the reviews! They are the reason I'm confident that at least this story isn't for nothing. Half of this chapter was more of a filler, so I'm sorry if some of you got bored. But there is some foreshadowing...can you guys find it? XD And I know that the 'emo' is just a stereotypical word, so please don't get offended! :/_


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